true love never fades

"THE woman's long black hair whipped across her pale face as she danced to punk rock at the bar. She seemed to be the life of the party. Little did she know that she was igniting a girl crush. Susan Buice was watching, and she was smitten.

Ms. Buice, 26, and the dancer (actually a clothing designer) happen to live in the same Brooklyn apartment building, so Ms. Buice, a filmmaker, was later able to soak up many other aspects of her neighbor's gritty yet feminine style: her layered gold necklaces; her fitted jackets; her dark, oversize sunglasses; and her Christian Dior perfume.

"I'm immediately nervous around her," Ms Buice said. "I stammer around her, and it's definitely because I think she's supercool."

Ms. Buice, who lives with her boyfriend, calls her attraction a girl crush, a phrase that many women in their 20's and 30's use in conversation, post on blogs and read in magazines. It refers to that fervent infatuation that one heterosexual woman develops for another woman who may seem impossibly sophisticated, gifted, beautiful or accomplished. And while a girl crush is, by its informal definition, not sexual in nature, the feelings that it triggers - excitement, nervousness, a sense of novelty - are very much like those that accompany a new romance."

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This appeared in the New York Times today, only a few months after an article titled "The Man Date", a feature on a new breed of straight men who aren't shy engaging in activities with other straight males that go beyond the sports bar. Dinner, wine bars, museums, etc. No, it's not secret homosexuality, but simply enjoying someone of the same gender in an honest way without regards to social constraints and attitudes.

I find all of this so completely interesting, especially since finding Buzznet. I often feel like the token gay boy here, swimming in a sea of some of the most amazing straight folks I have ever met. I initially thought it was a natural gravitation; being "married" and in a monogamous relationship gave me something in common with the many married, straight peeps here with families, etc. (No, I'm not assuming that every heterosexual here is married nor monogamous and I'm not judging, TRUST ME). To be perfectly honest, many of my gay friends have all together stopped being my friend, and it sucks. Like they say, I'm married but not dead. Oh well. It makes me a tiny bit sad, but what can ya do?

So why did this article really cause a reaction for me this morning? I guess it's because it's so utterly heartening to see a new group of people admire, appreciate and adore others based on their inherent qualities, not their gender. It also says a lot that these people throw those social constraints out of the window when they hug, love, cherish and hold hands with someone of the same gender, and I don't have to tell you what a no-no that can be. It's why I'm jealous of Europeans sometimes, damnit. Anyway, before I ramble on, I guess I just wanted to say that while buzznet is fun and cute and silly and everything it's also been a very important way to connect with some of the most amazing people I think I have ever met, male and female. Girl crushes, man dates, whatever you call it, my buzznet friends ROCK.